SAHM Chronicles: “it must be nice”

“it must be nice” this is a comment I’ve been getting since I was about 20 weeks pregnant and quit my job and it’s honestly so frustrating.

My response is usually just that I know I’m very lucky to be able to stay home with Mila because I am and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I don’t have to worry if a sitter or day care employee is giving our baby the same care we would. I don’t have to figure out how we’re going to afford child care or find someone reliable. It is nice that my husband supports and agrees with me staying home as the best option for us right now. It is nice that I was able to leave my job at only 20 weeks pregnant and not have to worry too much.

People fail to realize my why, though. They don’t consider the fact that as a personal trainer I couldn’t perform my job to the best of my ability after reaching a certain point in my pregnancy, I couldn’t demonstrate some exercises and didn’t feel completely comfortable in some situations like spotting a client. They don’t consider that my husband and Mila’s father is not home with us to help out right now. They don’t realize that with military life it’s unlikely I’d find a job that would allow me to make more than child care would cost us. Me staying home is just a no brainier for us but it’s not the right choice for some other families, that doesn’t make either one better than the other.

Recently I was watching one of my favorite mommy youtubers, Aaryn Williams. She was expressing how difficult being a stay at home mom is and that people really don’t realize it. I seriously felt what she was saying and wasn’t that surprised when she’s was pretty much attacked by work outside the home mom’s.

Sometimes I’m tempted to say “it must be nice that your parents and in laws are retired and able to watch your children for free” or “it must be nice to have the chance to build a career in one place that you can grow in without uprooting every couple years” or even “it must be nice to have 2 incomes supporting your child”

Its not like we’re rich and can just afford me staying home but we make it work. I know ignorant people seem to think the military just throws money and married couples with kids. It’s definitely hard just like going back to work was probably very hard for momma’s who can’t stay home. I wish people wouldn’t be so quick to assume that because I’m a stay at home mom I must be living this cushy, lavish life eating bon bons all day.

I have so much respect for mom’s who go back to work because I can’t imagine having to but I also have mad respect for other moms who stay home, especially those with multiple babies. Until I was a sahm myself I didn’t understand either. So I urge you to be supportive of other moms no matter what their situation may be. Being a mom is hard work as it is without someone making you feel bad for your career decisions.

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