Long Distance Marriage

Being apart from the one you love is hard whether its a day or a year. Going on 8 months since Abram and I have lived under the same roof and seeing girls miss their boyfriends who are away on a week long work trip makes me want to explode but at the same time I understand. I miss Abram the second he leaves just as much as I do now.

One of the hardest parts about being apart has to be when disagreements arise. Of course we have fights, we’re not perfect. I actually read once that couples who never fight are more likely to split because it shows theres a lack of communication. Any time you have two people live life together theres going to be disagreements, if theres not its probably because at least one of the two isnt being open with the other when they’re unhappy with something which only leads to more negative feelings in the future. Being apart adds another aspect to all parts of our relationship, including arguments.

Theres been a number of times when people will say “well don’t get mad at him about it you guys dont get to see each other, dont spend the time you get to talk arguing”. Which sounds pleasant and I’m sure would work for us for a little while since most of our arguments are small and unimportant in the grander scheme of things. But the reason we have small arguments or very few times that escalate to full blown fights is because we hash it out while its still small. I tell Abram if something upsets me, even if he may not agree with my reasoning, even if it leads to a heated discussion during the only time we get to talk all day. Not because I want to ruin a happy phone call. I do it because I dont want to ruin our marriage. See, if I kept it to myself when small things bugged me or upset me eventually all of that would bottle up. Thats when happy couples start to resent each other and carry around negative feelings that couldve been resolved but weren’t and now they are festering. Telling him when I’m upset and feeling like he listens and cares about my feelings makes me feel far more loved than never having an argument would.

Communication is especially important being apart because most days its the only way we can connect. If I felt like I couldn’t be open and honest with him things would fall apart sooner or later because beneath the happy appearance of “never fighting” damage would be taking place.

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